To unravel the mystery of whether Dave is Delightful or Darstardly we need to travel back to 1978 as the Gales drive north from Melbourne up the Hume highway to Sydney. According to DD the family were squeezed into a Mazda 929, obviously DD has no concept of the word squeezed. Being one of nine children,for us any car trip was like clowns piling out of a mini minor but in reverse. Add one big dog, a cat and luggage squeezing into our station wagon was more challenging than any chinese puzzle. Cosy was the word.
Back to twelve year old Dave jammed into the back of the new 929 with his siblings, all two of them. The irrepressible twins, little John and Steve, a pair of six year old trouble makers added to poor DD's discomfort. Did I mention there was no air conditioning!!!
Up the highway they went. Admirable Alex concentrated on the road as Lackadaisical Lois vanely tried to keep the three boys amused and away from each other's throats. DD always helpful, suggested a game of "let's throw the twins out the window!" Luckily LL was on the ball enough to put an end to this plan. My mother Patty would have gone back to her daydreams or knitting until bloodcurdling screams wrenched the air, but then there was nine of us, selective deafness was a well honed survival tactic.
Many long miles and games of "I spy" later the Gale family arrived at their Sydney CBD destination. Delightful Dave gazed up at the St George Bank Building in Pitt St Sydney and announced " I have a arrived". The opportunity to reside in the penthouse for the week had greatly inflated DD's sense of self importance!
Baggage was unloaded and AA lead the way into the newly built edifice. Being a Saturday the building was deserted and echoed with a sense of desertion. The lift soon took them from the carpark, to the spacious luxury of the penthouse apartment. Little John and Steve ran amok with excitement as they basked in their new found freedom. Meanwhile DD scoped the amazing vista as he dragged his suitcase to the superior view room.
Soon it was time to head out for dinner. The family descended to the basement once again. It was then it happened. Admirable Alex and Lively Lois lead the exit from the lift, Delightful Dave followed suit as did Judicious John, sadly Somnambulant Steve hesitated to check his shoelace. ( I should mention at this stage that although DD was devoted to his parents he often thought that when they already had perfection, going back for seconds was a a big mistake. Surely bringing home twins had been some sort of clerical error, or at least a momentary lapse in judgment ). As SS hesitated Darstadly Dave stepped towards him, shoved him back into the lift and pressed a few random buttons to the floors above. The doors shut with a with a dull thud . DD had a moment of remorse as a mournful cry of Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum echoed pitifully down the lift shaft.
Lithesome Lois leapt, glaring balefully at DD she began frantically pecking on the down button with her finger ( picture a ferocious bantam mother hen defending her precious brood) I fear the odd "CLUCK" even slipped from her lips. Time slowed. Where was the clucking lift?? Finally the rumbling grind of a lift descending. The doors drew back, the Galant Gales stepped forward, the lift was empty!!
Oh dear! Dastardly Dave what have you done? Was this all planned? (Of course, it is much easier to get a table for four in most fine restaurants). Aggravated Alex soon set a search in motion and Solitary Steve was eventually found on the thirteenth floor by a recently roused security guard. Why little SS was writing "REDRUM" on the walls with Lois's lipstick is yet to be explained, but the poor pet was extremely traumatised!
So I ask you now. Is Dave Delighftul or Darstardly? A slight clue may be in the fact that DD returned from that holiday travelling solo on a plane. Supposedly the new Celica the family had travelled to collect would be "too cramped" for five on the return journey. I am inclined to think that Dastardly Dave was voted off the journey for the sake of family harmony! Luckily for me, it's because he's occasionally dastardly that I find him delightful!